Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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