if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
