That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
