Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My life is pants optional.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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