is your mom at the bar?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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