I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
whose parrot is this?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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