hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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