I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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