so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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