and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
