I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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