Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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