im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
smell my finger.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize