I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize