No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm at about main and main street
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
