I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Randomize
