my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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