Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
