i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
