Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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