I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
