shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
