so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
