It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
