so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
