My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize