he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
