I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
