my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
