I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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