I faked an abortion last night.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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