Sry I called you an 8
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
