Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
