We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
