so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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