i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize