We got so high we made milksteak
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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