I looked at my own cervix.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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