Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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