Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
