.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
