11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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