im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
