Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
