i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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