I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
this will be a night to untag.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize