i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize