I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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