I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i came on her dog
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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