get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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