I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize