The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
