I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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