You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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