you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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