the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
