I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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