I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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