Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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