My underwear smells like fireworks.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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