oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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