Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
