Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
