I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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